CELEBRITIES

Zsa Zsa Gabor and Paris Hilton

Zsa Zsa Gabor has been many things in her life: actress, plaything of playboys, disqualified beauty pageant contestant and convicted slapper.

Sounds a lot like socialite Paris Hilton, no? It gets better. Turns out that Zsa Zsa Gabor and Paris Hilton have a deep family connection.

The Early Years

Sari Gabor was born on February 6, 1917 in Budapest, Hungary, although some sources state that she might have been born earlier. She was the daughter of Vilmos, a Soldier, and Jolie, who worked as a manager. She changed her name to Zsa Zsa when she was a child because she wasn't able to pronounce the name Sari, that her parents had given her.

11 Pointless Celebrity Impersonators

 

Everyone wants to be famous. But what if you aren’t? And never will be? Then what?

Well, the next best thing, obviously, would be if you resembled someone who actually is famous. And got paid for it. This is what I set out to prove at Asylum.

But just like in Hollywood, there is a pecking order among celebrity impersonators. Some faux entertainersclearly deserve to be on the A-list. Others — like ol’ Mimi to the left, here — live their lives, for better or worse, on the Z-list.

Mimi From “The Drew Carey Show
Given that it’s now 2010 and “The Drew Carey Show” has been off the air for six years, we don’t see this impersonator of Drew’s portly office foil getting much work — especially on her own. Maybe she’s a throw-in whenever someone hires this Drew Carey lookalike?

Andie MacDowell 
“Hey! You know what our office party needs? Someone who kind of looks like that curly headed model from the L’Oreal ads!

“We could have her walk around, and when people ask, ‘Who the hell are you?’ she can say, ‘I’m that curly-headed model from the L’Oreal ads.’ Or we can just let them assume she’s Lori from accounting.”

Click to Asylum for more about Mimi and 9 other entirely pointless celebrity impersonators.

Ricky Martin Gets Career Boost By Coming Out As Gay

 This is a crazy twist of events. `90’s has been singer, Ricky Martin has officially come out of the closet. Strange on the timing: he has a new memoir coming out. Yes, just when it looked like Ricky Martin’s career might have been limited to C-list celebrity purgatory on shows like Dancing with the Stars, the pop singer (and former member of boy band, Menudo) has confessed that’s he’s been gay all these years.

The man who brought the world the 1999 hit, Livin La Vida Loca, has declared on his fan site: “I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.”

Yes, and it only took 11 years for him to come out and say during a time  when his career is deader than Corey Haim and you have a new book coming out. Ricky Martin joins the ranks of Clay Aiken and Lance Bass as the guy everyone knew was gay and who has finally admitted it. Yes, Ricky Martin is proud to be gay–especially when there’s money to be made from book sales.

Corey Haim Found Dead in Home of Pope's Massage Therapist

From teen superstar, to whatever this is a picture of, to Catholicism's #1 sexual plaything - what went wrong?


Some say it was the drugs, others blame the bittersweet, first-name sharing, friendship/rivalry with Corey Feldman, but one thing is for sure: Vatican (unlicenced) massage therapist, Luigi "Fingers" Rotini, was the last man too see, and rub, Haim alive.


Haim had been rooming with the Pope (or Ben-dog, as he playfully referred to himself when with Corey) for several weeks, and while the Italian media didn't entirely ignore the relationship, they probably could, and should, have dug deeper.


Rotini, stopped by reporters on his way to Vatican Prison (or "Freedom"), had this to say (in a cartoonish Italian accent): "I give-a him massage, he ask-a me to "finish him off", I not understand. What is-a the big deal? He was no Mel Gibson..."


Father Giorgio "Mafia" Antipasto, a regular customer of "Fingers" Rotini, defended both his masseur and his boss. "You leave "Fingers" and "Legs" alone, or I break yours, capice?" warned the linebacker-sized Priest, "Rotini ain't used to that "finish me off" crap. Most of us just say somethin' like "Gimme an Alterboy Special", y'know what I'm sayin'? Simple. Straightforward. No room for misintoipretation, see...?"



"Legs" Benedict


We reached a tearful Corey Feldman at his home, also at the Vatican.


FH: Mr. Feldman, I'm sorry for your loss.


CF: Emptiness. There's nothing left. It's all over...


FH: Tell us about your relationship with Corey Haim. You first worked together on the film "The Breakfast Club". What was that like?


CF: No man. Neither of us were in that. We met on the set of -


FH: Right! It WAS "Sixteen Candles". Sorry about that. When did your infamous rivalry begin? Was it during the filming of "Candles"?


CF: It was "The Lost Boys". You're thinking of Anthony Michael Hall, not Corey Haim.


FH: Actually, I might have been thinking about Molly Ringwald. Is she dead?


CF: I don't know.


FH: Well, Thanks very much for your time, Mr. Feldman. I know this hasn't been easy. I'm sure I'm speaking for all of my readers when I say we'll never forget you in "Teen Wolf".


CF: How did you get this number?



A Pensive Corey Feldman on the Set of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"


 

Mashup: Awkward Oscar Moment mixed with Berlin Poker Robbery

 


1268057505979_47428192_jex_625115_de27-1Two of the most astounding video moments this week had to be:

Crazy lady Elinor Burkettpulling a Kayne West on director Roger Ross Williams at the Academy Awards during his acceptance speech for the documentary short, Music By Prudence.

The Berlin poker robbery where armed gunmen robbed the European Poker Tour in broad daylight.

Check out my mashup of these two videos at the Huffington Post.

Freedom Haters Congratulates Mo'Nique!

Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the music!

Our Mo'Nique is now an Academy Award winner. In honor of Mo'Nique we at Freedom Haters would like to once again present her favorite performance. Enjoy Oscar winner Mo'Nique. 

 

Sarah Palin’s The New Larry the Cable Guy: Git r Done Sarah!

 So Sarah Palin was on pander-monkey Jay Leno’s Tonight Show last night.

Besides throwing her a series of softball questions, Jay also let the former governor of Alaska performstand up comedy on the show; a new low for both the world of comedy and the Tonight Show.

Obviously written by a team of Tonight Show writers, what Sarah Palin’s stand upcomedy act could have benefited from was a crazy catchphrase.

Palin needed an astute line that would help pull in her target audience–something that would reach the lowest common denominator that comprises her fan base and speaks to the real America.

Is Sarah Palin destined to be the next Larry the Cable Guy? In my idyllic world, here’s how I’d love to see Sarah Palin’s new career as a stand up comedian:

 

Oscar’s Funniest Moments

The Academy Awards are this Sunday.

So I captured video of a few of Oscar’s funniest moments. What’s your favorite Oscar funny moment? Was it Roberto Benigni jumping over the tops of people’s heads? How about Jack Palance doing one-armed pushups? Surely you must have marveled at the infamous Oscar streaker.

Freedom Haters wants to know!

O.J. Simpson’s Suit Rejected From Smithsonian: Yes, But Have You Seen Him Rap?

 I was shocked to read that the very suit O.J. Simpson wore during his infamous double-murder trial was rejected by the Smithsonian Institution as a genuine artifact of Americana. Damn you Smithsonian, damn you!  The O.J. Simpson story is as American as it gets. It tells the rise-and-fall of the American Dream in better details than The Great Gatsby: a man who came from poverty, go it all (fame, wealth, a beautiful wife), and through a tragic flaw, lost it all.

Can you imagine O.J.’s murder trial suit on display next to Fonzi’s jacket and Archie Bunker’s chair? I think it would look great alongside other cultural shames as George W. Bush’s flight jacket he were on the  aircraft carrier  during his Mission Accomplished speech.

What people don’t realize is Americans’ love O.J. Simpson: Americans’ love the cult of celebrity and O.J. Simpson is one of the most famous people they might ever encounter. I know this first hand when a few years back I was hired to work on a zany Punk’d, hidden camera ripoff entitled, Juice’d. It was a hidden camera show where after a prank would be pulled,O.J. Simpson would pop out and say, “You’ve been Juice’d.”

I was hired to be O.J.’s funny, little sidekick; I spent 2 weeks filming hidden camera pranks with O.J.

Read on to find out a taste of this train wreck of Americana was like……..

 

ojIn a nondescript recording studio in Burbank, we’re waiting for OJ to show up, in the same anticipation as on the set ofApocalypse Now, waiting for an overweight Brando.

A weird hush comes over the crew as OJ arrives with his handlers, talking on a cell phone, walking with a fragile limp. I was expecting OJ to be Fat Albert fat. But he’s not (though have a really large head in turns of cranial capacity).  A shady entourage surrounds the affair. I heard Warren G, OJ’s bodyguard, just got out of jail, his driver doesn’t have a driver’s license, and some LA manager-type in a sports coat keeps saying things on his cell phone like, “I’m hanging out with OJ right now. I could sell this footage to 20/20 for twenty grand.”

OJ has been made to dress like a gangsta rapper (ironically wearing a wife-beater).   The first thing OJ Simpson says to me is “Why don’t you push me!” I’ve just met OJ and now he wants me to shove him. The “funny” prank involves singers and dancers coming in for an audition. All they know is it’s for a celebrity’s music video. What these “victims” won’t know, the celebrity is actually, yes, OJ Simpson.

“This is my first audition,” shares an enthusiastic 18-year-old. She drove an hour to get here, one of the dozens of hopeful performers who’ve taken time out of their day with big dreams (stupid people with their dreams), thinking they’re here for an audition, only to soon be humiliated on camera. I feel bad. We’re just wasting people’s time.

“When the ad says I’d make $750 per day, that pisses me off,” screams an auditioner, afterwards, clearly not happy with the free Juiced T-shirt.

While wearing a pink belly-shirt and going by the name Power, my part is to go in and audition with a group of dancers, screw things up, and then get in a big argument with OJ Simpson. So, as requested, I shove OJ (I think I even scream “Do you want a piece of me!”).

I expected once OJ made an appearance, people would freak out and run screaming from the room. I expected people to react with horror. There most likely would be crying. Some might think, yes, the devil himself now has a reality show. But that’s not the case at all.

“You’ve been Juiced!”

People are actually thrilled to meet OJ Simpson (it’s great he gets to show America his practical joking side). They, instead, react with celebrity worship. After all, OJ was, innocent in one of his two trials

“Why don’t you all dance around OJ,” the director instructs a group of excited girls.

OJ, attempting to be the lady’s man, adds “This is not working out, but if you want to have dinner later…”

Yes, OJ loves the ladies. Later, while wearing disguise in a tropical fish store, he tries to be suave with a girl asking, “If I were OJ, would you try to go out with me?”

“I’m only seventeen,” replies the girl.

OJ retorts, “If you were eighteen, I’d try and go out with you!”

 

The Super Bowl Shuffle: The Greatest Music Video EVER!

 “We’re so bad, we know we’re good. Blowing your mind like we knew we would!”

220px-Chicago_shuffleIn honor of the Superbowl this Sunday, here’s the greatest music video ever: The Super Bowl Shuffle.

Why don’t more Superbowl teams do this?

The Super Bowl Shuffle” was a rap song recorded by players of the Chicago Bears footballteam during their winning 1985 season right before  their appearance in Super Bowl XX. Basically, the video features football players with no sense of rhythm or singing ability rapping about, well, football. The Super Bowl Shuffle  featured breakout performances by Jim McMahon and William “The Fridge” Perry.

Here’s the video in all its 7-minutes of glory.

Trivia note: Jim McMahon and The Fridge weren’t at the original taping of the video and were later edited in via chromakey. Why aren’t the New Orleans Saints or the Indianapolis Colts cranking out very low budget music videos? Come’on guys!