Not pictured: NO POOP sign, near poop.

Everyone hates signs in windows. Is not obeying signs ironic, or not ironic? Vote now!

Obama icons of these photos, after the jump:

Show of hands: so who reads Parade Magazine? It's the Magazine Included in Sunday Local Newspapers. Its most popular section has to be Walter Scott's Personality Parade column. This inside front cover institution answers celebrity questions posed by readers who usually bet a steak dinner whether or not Christopher Atkins is still working or what. Scott's writing style is to uncannily mimic emails from publicists.

Last Sunday, Sir Walter outdid himself:

So that's why they don't sleep together. Religion Haters: back off so that this married couple can finally, finally sleep in the same house and drive non-bomb-proof cars. 

A recent online video has tongues wagging, especially tongues of internet users who are also Star Wars fans.

"Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it)" is, according to Vimeo vlogger Joe:

"My friend Amanda had never seen a whole Star Wars film. When I asked her if she wanted to watch the original trilogy she said that she would, but that she already knew what happens. So I took out my voice recorder and asked her to start from the top."

We haven't seen it yet, but we heard a description from this new viral video, "Retelling Star Wars (By Someone Who Hasn't Seen It)" viral video, described by someone who hasn't seen it.

Original video, after the jump:

#1 movie Paul Blart Mall Cop isn't the first to take place in a shopping mall; it's just the funniest because the main character's name rhymes with 'fart.' Here are five other movies that take place in a mall, and why they can't pass gas when it comes to Paul Blart Mall Cop. 

Film: Scenes from a Mall (1991) 

Synopsis: Woody Allen and Bette Midler regret not being Kevin James funny. 

Real Stores Used: Yes. 

Malls Used: Beverly Center, Los Angeles, California; Stamford Town Center, Stamford, Connecticut 

Better than Paul Blart Mall Cop?: No. 

Read on for more....

The Paul Blart Mall Cop release date celebration continues on Freedom Haters with a challenge. We challenge thee to a game of online Paul Blart Mall Maze, where the hunters and the huntees hunt in a shopping mall. Paul Blart Mall Cop rides his self-balancing mobility device in the mall and must eat pellets off the mall floor while avoiding motorcycles, a scathing commentary on consumerism.

Last known photo of Dan White

As part of an ongoing series called American Journeys, a New York Times journeyman writes about the hippies and the Baraka-loving Red Vic Movie House when discussing the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco. That's not the ironic part. Oh, no. Wait for it...the author's name is Dan White, which, if you've seen the movie Milk, you know is also the name of the late San Francisco mayor's [SPOILER ALERT] assassin. Come on, Irony Voters! You know irony when you see it...

Huh, huh? That's pretty ironic, right? Four twenty showing of Harold & Kumar 2, a film about stoners?

Plus the picture is blurry. Must be because I was high when I took it, huh? That's right, my soberness affects my photography. 

This year we resolve, nacho-wise: 

...to evenly dab sour cream throughout the plate and not just in one corner. 

...not to replace sour cream with cottage cheese. 

...to add chicken and chopped lettuce but refrain from calling it "Chicken Caesar Nachos." 

This holiday season, give the gift that keeps on naching: nachos! This guide will help you find the right nachos for your loved ones this nachos-gift-giving season.

If you're looking for some nachos that are kinda spicy, already gift-wrapped, and come with a fruit drink and candy bar, we recommend:

Oscar Mayer Lunchables Maxed Out Ultimate Nachos with Nacho Dip & Salsa.

What cheese is not yours? 

Nacho cheese. 

What cheese is actually a sauce made from milk whey, corn syrup, natural cheddar cheese, salt, peanut oil, citric acid, enzyme modified cheese, salt, sorbic acid as a preservative, natural flavorings, yellow dye and jalapeno peppers? 

Nacho cheese.

What is an anagram for "echo scene, ha"?