This year we resolve, nacho-wise:

...to refer to time spent eating nachos with the guys as "nach-bros time."

...to photograph every plate of restaurant nachos with my iPhone, then post it on TwitPic, Tumblr, and Facebook.

...to finish our screenplay for "N.A.C.H.O. Justice."

When Americans look back at the decade called the "Aughts," they will ask: "Why 'Aughts?' Didn't we spend the past ten years calling them 'The Ohs,' as in 'oh-four?'" Then Americans will think about Christmas because it's that time of the year. Most of all, they will never forget the tragedies of the past ten years: special promotional nachos from Taco Bell.

We count down the three worst Taco Bell nachos disasters of the '00s. Brought to you by Del Taco. 

 Our weekly explanation of things from last century. 

Facebook privacy? Punching women on MTV? It's Pikachu Goddamnit? That is so today, and uninspiring. It's not as innovative as the 20th Century. That century brought us so much: the Internet, the 21st Century, and so much more. This week, we cheer the yesteryear, with these now-pointless innovations.
 

Our weekly explanation of things from last century. 

Slimfast recall? Open letters from Facebook chairmen? Surprised kitties? That is so today, and uninspiring. It's not as innovative as the 20th Century. That century brought us so much: the Internet, the 21st Century, and so much more. This week, we cheer the yesteryear, with these now-pointless innovations.

Out of tortilla chips but happen to have a dozen eggs and plenty of stale bread?

Make this savory nachoey nacho cheese bread pudding instead.

A Freedom Haters Nacho Thursday Exclusive!!

Greenland, still the most popular European destination among misguided stoners, gained self-rule last Sunday after 288 years of Danish rule. With roomies the Danish government leaving, Greenland can finally move into the bigger room. Congrats, Greenland! You did something your big brother Iceland did 65 years ago!

To celebrate, Mike Spiegelman of Luggage Tuesdays offers three jokes Greenlanders can now openly say without looking over their shoulders for Danes.

Q. How many Greenlanders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. According to the NY Times...

Whether making or ordering nachos, get back to basics with this top 3 list.

An exclusive Friday edition of Nacho Thursdays.

First Up: The Foundation

Thanks to Twitter, children can now ask nacho-related questions through the internet, like Tom, age 6, did when he poised a series of question to Twitter superstar, AskNachos. Nacho Thursdays has the transcripts:

TomAge6 @AskNachos What's in super nachos? 
about 1 hour ago from Twitterrific 

AskNachos @TomAge6 nachos w tortilla chips, cheese + super ingredients like beans, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, meat, sour cream, guacamole, + cilantro. 
about 58 minutes ago from twhirl in reply to TomAge6 

TomAge6 @AskNachos why? 
about 57 minutes ago from Twitterrific in reply to AskNachos 

AskNachos @TomAge6 since these nachos are bigger than regular nachos, they are called "super nachos." 
about 55 minutes ago from twhirl in reply to TomAge6 

TomAge6 @AskNachos why? 
about 55 minutes ago from Twitterrific in reply to AskNachos

Freedom Haters Is Pleased To Announce Our Regular New Thursday Feature: Nacho Thursdays!

Photo: Another school closing due to swine flu nachos. Photo possibly Photoshopped. 

It takes a community to eat a plate of nachos. But with community comes swine flu. Just because we're all gonna die, though, doesn't mean we can't be civilized. Dinning with family and friends reinforces human bonding, and sharing plates of nachos reinforces nacho bonding. However, in recent weeks, an alarming epiphany dawned on nacho-eaters and non-nacho-eaters alike: we're all going to die from swine flu. Is this realization precseient or merely hyperbolic paranoia designed to sell nacho columns? 

Play smart when eating nachos. Avoid swine flu symptons when eating nachos. The three symtoms of swine flu are: vomiting, unrelated to nachos; diarrhea, unrelated to nachos; death. 

Here's how to eat nachos and not get sick, from the flu this time:

Don't let anything stop you from achieving your dreams, especially when there's something wrong with your plate of nachos. Doctor Nachos can help. He's a doctor, and his last name is Nachos. 

Dear Doctor Nachos, 

I am a 14-year-old college student achieving my dreams. However, my plate of nachos has too much sour cream on it. Help, Doctor! 

Signed, 

14-Year-Old College Student 

Dear Stu, 

Like the popular song goes, "Don't ruin your dreams, With too much sour creams." Simply scoop unwelcome sour cream with an available dry tortilla chip, and either throw it away or eat it.