Hey kids!

Ever wanted to be an astronaut and drive the lunar rover? 

YOU CAN'T!!

But what you can do is the next best thing - READ THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL!!

You can get the whole thing at this page here.

Download the whole manual at one time, or, if that's too much excitement for you, read it in exciting installments.

Start with Chapter 1: Cover; Table of Contents; List of Illustrations; Section 1 - General Information: Vehicle Systems, Mobility Subsystem.

Then move on to other exciting chapters such as General Information: Crew Station (cont.), Thermal Control, Space Support Equipment (inc. Deployment) or Section 2 - Normal Procedures: Introduction and Normal Procedures: Payload Loading (cont.), Pre-Sortie Checkout and Prep, Configuration for Science Stop, Configuration for Science!!

What ever happens to all those lost TV pilots that get made and nothing ever really becomes of them? They end up on the Interweb.

So a few years back I filmed a TV pilot  in Las Vegas with a Canadian production company from Toronto. Though it was a really fun time, and the director was a really great guy, the shoot was a bit of a nightmare. 

I was supposed to be  a Hunter S. Thompson wannabe character and infiltrate the strange locales of Vegas. The crux of the show--the big centerpiece of the pilot-- was a planned infiltration of the Canadian production company's reality dating show which was called, Matchmaker. Just like on Blind Date, I was going to go on in character (alcoholic, closeted gay cowboy) and date some local Vegas woman. Comedy hilarity would then ensue. 

Our whole entire shoot was centered on this dating show infiltration.  

For some reason our crew was booked into the same hotel as the Matchmaker crew. I'd see the host everyday at breakfast. At the 0 hour Matchmaker ended up backing out of letting us infiltrate their show. They did so in that passive-aggressive manner Canadians seem to have. 

So we ended up filming what we could (fist-fighting Elvis impersonators, spending a day with a guy who just got out of prison, etc..) as I spent most nights at this great little kick-ass punk club hidden away off the Strip. The rest is unaired TV pilot history. 

Until now. The entire pilot just turned up online this week.  You can see the whole affair (which was called Harmon Leon's America) here on Zombiespirit.com

Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the music.

Yes, it's back. After a short hiatus, Freedom Haters is proud to annouce we are bringing back our regular feature: Child Ventriloquists. Yes, we are pleased to salute those pint-sized entertainers who attempt not to move their lips while talking to a puppet. 

This Week: Matt Bailey and Vern

A crisp $50 bill to anyone who can watch this video in its entirety, which seems to be shot at someone's basement talent show. Special shout out to the use of star wipes (my favorite wipe) in the video editing. Once again, don't quit your day job kid!

 

  

Do you like being nude while getting paid for your nudity? Are you under the impression that all nude jobs involve working at a strip club?

Guess again. There are many, many nude-orientated vocations. During the recession you might want to consider some nude-options as a means of making cash.

Here are some nude-tastic job that you might want to look into as our economy crashes and burns:

 

 

 

 

 

It might be a sign that Freedom Haters is getting a little lazy, but occasionally we do like to run videos that tickle us.

This week we have William Shatner's appearance on the Conan O'Brien Show doing his dramatic interpretation of Sarah Palin's baby-gargle farewell speech. (Yes, we are proud to be a part of the media that mocks her!) 

This, by far, was the funniest take on the whole Palin public speaking debacle. All we ask is: Shatner, please do a sequel with the part where Palin babbled about skinny Hollywood actresses coming to take their guns! As Palin hunts therefore she eats, we mock because she's such an idiot. 

 

 

 Michelangelo created David which remains as a masterpiece of Renaissance sculpture.

The marble statue depicts the Biblical King David in the nude. But being perched in a drafty could present problems for a 17 foot 16th century statue.

That's where the Snuggie comes in. Now, not only is Michelangelo's David toasty warm, but also the blanket with sleeves keeps his "junk" warm.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guess what? Alaska no longer has one of the most annoying, idiotic people in the world as their governor. Yes, the quitter quit and once again used her astute moon-man logic to justify why being a quitter isn't really quitting. 

Sarah Palin's nightmare is now over. No longer does she have to swim waaaay out of her depth. Palin now has an exciting career in TV to look forward to, as she departs with a 43% positive approval rating. 

 

Not all of America feels the same way as Freedom Haters. Take a little gander at what type of comments were on the Fox News board...........

 

One of the more "interesting" things here in the Belfast is to listen to people bitch about the weather. If the sun manages to be out for more than a few hours in the day during the summer, all of a sudden it becomes "bloody roastin'" (it's funnier when you say it with a Belfast accent - see below).

They'll also complain about how it's too cold and then go off to Turkey to sit in the sun and bake for a week in the 90+ degree temperatures. 

"Oh yeah, ah love it!!! The weather there is brilliant! I'd love to live in that kind of weather all the time!!"

Oh really? 

Well, imagine if you weren't there for just a week. You LIVED in that kind of weather. And you weren't on vacation, either. You had to go to work every day. Since you're in the States, naturally you have to drive to work. But let's say the air conditioner in your car was broken. So you started sweatin' like a whore in church during your 7:30am commute. Then, as soon as you walked in the door of your workplace, you were hit with a blast of icy cold air and instantly had hypothermia.

Still like living with those kinds of temperatures?!!

Welcome to Texas!!!

I thought it might be interesting for our readers out there if  I took advantage of the handy new BBC weather embedding option and compare where I used to live to where I am now...

The Craigslist job board during the era of recession is the craziest mother- flippin' place. 

Here's a disclaimer reply I got from a job I applied for:

NOTE: You WILL find bad press about us on the internet! (a bogus press release about a settled lawsuit, one alledged unhappy employee, and - unfortunately - some rubbish written by my ex-wife!) Please do not be discouraged by this nonsense, we hope to overshadow these nuisances with a deluge of quality articles praising the good we are currently doing for the US economy; we are Christian owned and operated, and very patriotic and proud to be Americans.

 

Yes, that's the caliber of job that's offered on Craigslist. 

 But Freedom Haters has  a new favorite genre of Craigslist job posters: Dreamers! Yes there are those out there who are working on a book or screenplay and they are convinced all they need to do to get an agent is post an ad on Craigslist. It's as if to say agents are busy scouring the crappy Craigslist job boards in search for the next F. Scott Fitzgerald. 

Here are a few of Freedom Haters' favorite Craigslist Dreamers.  (Note: Freedom Haters only laughs at others in order to make ourselves feel more bigger and clever than we really are.)