June 2009
Freedom Haters on the Radio 7/1
Freedom Haters take to the air waves tomorrow 7/1.
You can catch me on 3 different radio shows talking about my book, The American Dream and Freedomhaters.org:
-WPYX Albany NY @ 5am (Pacific Time)Â http://www.pyx106.com
-100.9 The Farm Jackson Tennesee @ 7:10 (Pacific time) http://www.thefarmradio.com
-CFRB/CJAD Toronto/Montreal @ 10pm (Pacific Time) http://www.cfrb.comÂ
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TGIF: Thank God It's Franken!
Remember the long, drawn out, battle in Minnesota for the U.S. Senate between Al Franken and Norm Coleman?
Well, it's finally over and Al Franken is the victor! Yes, and it only took just a mere 8 months of recounts and court battles, not to mention a waste of tax payers money to determine the winner.
As Sen. Bob Menendez chairman of the Democratic Senate Campaign Committee commented, "We've always said that Norm Coleman deserved his day in court, and he got eight months.''
Infiltrating the World of Carnies
Since it's summer what better way to celebrate this season than sharing the exploits I had when IÂ infiltrated the world of carnies in rural Indiana at the Gibson County Fair.
In my book, The American Dream, for one week IÂ lived the life of a carny by sleeping in a trailer behind the Tilt-A-Whirl and working a game that involved throwing ping-pong balls into a dish. I got the job by answering an ad that said "No drunks or druggies,"
I went by the name Ajax and befriended other such carnies with names like Wayne-o, Skittles, and Big John.Â
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 If you're going to a carnival in the weeks to come, here's a little taste of my undercover carny experience:
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Freedom Hater Breaking Story: The Mark Sanford Conspiracy
 
Celebrities are dropping faster than ten-cent hookers during Fleet Week.
Let's recap this week's roster: Ed McMahon, Farrah, Jacko, Billy Mays, and Fred Travalena. Strange that all these celebrity deaths happened right directly after it was disclosed that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was having an affair with a mysterious woman in Argentina. Strange that all these celebrity deaths have eclipsed the headlines of the Sanford affair. Is there a connection? Freedom Haters bets your sweet pink ass there is.
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All we have to say is one big long Italian word: Illuminati.
People Still Losing It On Craigslist!
 Craigslist is thee place for people to completely lose their shit when it comes to their crappy array of job listings. I would never want to face the wrath of an angry Craigslist job board user.
Here is a recent assortment of people completely losing it over the bottom-feeding scum that constitutes your average Craigslist job posting. it's enough to make Michael Jackson moonwalk as one of the undead and say, "Beat it!"Â
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For The Love of God - Not Another One!! RIP Fred Travalena!!!
Oh heavens!
It just keeps getting worse and worse.
The LA Times reports that celebrity impersonator Fred Travalena just passed away.
According to his IMDB page (which still lists him alive as of 7PM GMT), he appearred on the perinneal 1970s favorites the Love Boat AND Fantasy Island and later on did a lot of cartoon voices, including some work on the cartoon series Dragon's Lair.
Please let it stop!
As a freedom haters tribute (and we're getting tired of putting these together!!) here's some of Fred's best moments:
The Freedom Haters Cult: Elbonism (Part Eight)
Elbonism Today
Part Three: Making Elbonism Work for You
By now, most of you are probably thinking, “Alright. Elbonism makes sense. I’ll give it a shot. Now what…?†Today we’ll be looking at our important days of celebration, and our various rites of passage.
Celebrities Dropping Like Flies: Today Billy Mays
A conspiracy is underfoot with our nation's celebrities. Just look at this week alone. First there was Ed McMahon. Then Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Now, Freedom Haters is sad to announce that our favorite infomercial pitchman, Billy Mays, has joined the ranks of the famous and departed.
Though he couldn't moonwalk, we at Freedom Haters loved screaming Billy Mays and how bellowed the marvels of Orange Glo and Zorbeez. Never flanked with scandal that clouded the Shamwow guy, Billy Mays was a true Freedom Hater!
Here's a little video tribute to Billy Mays. Also, word of caution: If you happen to be a celebrity be very, very cautious this week.
Chat Room Infiltration: Author's Lounge
To continue my exploits into chat room infiltration, I decide to enter the foray of pretentious author chat rooms where wannabe writers show how big-and-clever they are about literature and all the fancy books they read.
I also decided to discuss books.
And the books I discussed? Dianetics and the Bible.
Read the entire chat room infiltration at Zug.com
Inside High Stakes Poker
Monaco is a country two miles long by two miles wide, and Monte Carlo is the type of city where it takes very little to get arrested. Homeless people look like me. A beer could easily set you back $30. Meanwhile, at the Monte Carlo Bay Resort, over 945 of the top Texas Hold 'Em players have gathered -- the crème de la crème of world poker.
Freedom Haters was at the Pokerstars Euro Poker Tour to suck up the free drink tabs and to get the full scoop on the world of high-stakes poker.
Check out the wacky poker adventure, featuring rapper Nelly and his posse, at Asylum.com
Michael Jackson Infiltration
We at Freedom Haters will miss you Jacko.
You're moonwalking in heaven now as God's freakiest little angel.
As a tribute to the gloved one he's a little stroll back in time to a simpler time.
Yes, here's Freedom Haters' infiltration of the Michael Jackson media circus where we posed as a rabid Michael Jackson fan:
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SOK: The Society Of Kneeophytes (Part Four)
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Part Four: The IKYABWAI Policy
The Freedom Haters site is proving to be just that. Their name is NOT ironic. Last week, Canaderek, leader of the Elbonism so-called "cult", used this platform to attack my beliefs.
By making fun of SOK, Canaderek has stripped away our freedom of religion! This may sound a bit extreme to some of you, but that's because you're not yet Kneeophytes, but instead remain religious bigots.
Freedom Haters Salutes - Futuristic Farrah Fawcett!!
All bad things come in threes!
Ed Macmahon, The King of Pop and Farrah Fawcett.
A big, Texas sized shoutout to Farrah - who just happened to attend the same university as your beloved Freedom Haters!
Wonder how old Lee Majors is holding up.
We've got some clips from our favorite sci-fi futuristic Farrah movies!
Check em out!
Freedom Haters Salutes - The King of Pop!!
News of Jacson's passing reached Belfast here at about 12am local time. It was all over everyone's lips.
Even the normally reserved Black Taxi drivers were talking about it non-stop.
Yeah, he got a little a wierd towards the end there with the Jesus Juice and wahtnot, but there's no denying the power of the Prince of Pop!!
Freedom Haters salutes you, Michael Jackson.
As part of our tribute, we've unearthed a special suprise from the Internet for Freedom Haters everywhere.
Check it out after the jump
A Huntin' and a Fishin' -- a Memoir!
Freedom Haters stops dreaming and starts writing via a class at the Learning Annex
I'm blocked. Blocked up. My well has runneth dry. I'm flat out of ideas.
What is an Infiltrator to do?! Should I go undercover and infiltrate the subculture of cobblers at a cobbler convention?
Maybe pretend I'm a craaaaaazy veterinarian and volunteer to neuter cats?!
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I should really stop dreaming and start writing! Fortunately, while doing laundry, I pick up a copy of the fine Learning Annex course schedule.
Nacho Thursday - Lucky Star, Unlucky Nachos
There are very few things I like in the world other than Nachos. One of those things is optical illusions. I don’t know what it is, but seeing a picture that could represent two different images depending on how it’s looked at is pretty fascinating to me, and it usually takes skillful talent to pull off. Take the picture to the left for example. Is this girl licking and salivating over the delicious meal she just ate off her finger, or is she simply shoving her finger in her mouth getting ready to purge all over her neck that is 20 times too small for her body?
This is a perfect segue way into my review of my next establishment, Lucky Star. It was lunch time and my coworker Marek and I decided to head to one of our area’s dirtiest but tastiest restaurants. Lucky Star is located in Compton, California, although they claim to be in Carson, California. It’s not as if one of these two places is better than the other, they’re both just as ghetto, except one gets more exposure than the other thanks to rap music. I mean, just look at their sign below.
Name Your College Course
City College of San Francisco has a proposition.
Since over 800 classes might be cancelled next year, the school's chancellor, Don Griffin has come up with a cunning plan.
Anyone who coughs up $6,000 can have the course renamed to their choosing.Â
Let's get started Freedom Haters!
Imagine the fun we could have renaming college classes.
Here are a few thoughts:
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NACHO THURSDAY - Tweets about Nachos and Make Your Own Bowl!
It's NACHO THURSDAY!!!
In this post, we've got a tasty vid for "extra cheesy" nachos. The best part of the video, though, is that it explains how to make a foil tray for your nachos, much better than the ones we've made here previously on Freedom Haters (left).
Also, we've scoured the Interwebs for some of the latest tweets about Nachos!
Hoooooray!!!!
Ed McMahon: A True Freedom Hater!
We at Freedom Haters salute Ed McMahon--the best second banana in the business.
But, besides being the co-host of the Tonight Show, Ed brought us something we'd never seen before...
